Friday, August 03, 2007

I Hate Flies

I really do. I don't just hate them.

I detest them.

I despise them.

I abhor them.

I LOATHE them!!!

Did I make that clear?

I don't understand their purpose AT.All. I mean really, they don't have one, do they? They don't eat other insects, they don't help with anything. They really have no purpose.

And they really are not welcome in my house.

So why is it, EVERY TIME my door opens, one or two more just invite themselves in and take up residence?

If anything was going to drive me totally insane, it would probably be flies. And I was almost to that point last night.

About 8 had gotten in yesterday, and I was about to go over the edge! I had had enough. I was out for blood....or at least fly guts! I really need to get a fly swatter, but I only think about it when I see those buggers in my house and want them out. I never remember when I'm actually at the store!

So last night I had had ENOUGH! And I was swatting at them with a dishtowel. I managed to get a couple of them - they were probably the weak ones. But the others continued to elude me.

I finally decided to lure them to me, and await their arrival, equipped with my weapon - Simple Green. (Not only a wonderful cleaning product, but an excellent fly killer!) I turned off all the lights in the house - except for the one over my kitchen sink. I knew the light would attract them, and it was only a matter of time.

Soon, they were flittering around the light. And that's when I attacked - I caught them off guard. I beamed my death ray sprayed my Simple Green at them. Oh, they tried to keep going, but it was just too powerful. They began to crash and burn. And then...annihilation! Good by you nasty flies! And good riddance!

This morning I discovered one lone fly still hanging around. I guess he had somehow managed to avert the battle last night. But he was in a very weak state and was an easy target.

Alright now, as much as I'd love to fill my evenings with covert operations because it's so very exciting, I'd really like to know of an easier way to rid myself of these pests. I'm sure I can find better ways to spend my time - you know, like cleaning house reading blogs and such.

So, my question is - do you have a sure fire way of getting rid of flies? And not fly paper - I can't stand the thought of that sticky stuff hanging in my kitchen with flies stuck to it - YUCK!
So do you have any other solutions? With kids in and out all day, it is unreasonable to think my door will stay closed, so they are bound to get in. But is there and EASY way to get rid of them? Please save me from going nuts by offering some brilliant advice!!

And speaking of advice, be sure to visit Lori for Advice Forum Friday!!! It's a new carnival she's beginning today!
Here's what she says:

How many times have you been stumped, by your child's behavior, or a household task, or the attitude of the guy at the phone company? And you just want to ask some advice. And maybe you posted it on your blog, but only one or two people saw it or offered any advice. I think Advice Forum Friday can help!

So, if you have a question, be sure to post about it and jump on over to her place to sign the Mr. Linky and then sit back and wait for the advice to pour in! (And more details are on her blog.)

And if you are one of those who are overflowing with advice to give, then run on over there and visit the participants and bestow on them your incredible knowledge!!! Come on, you know you want to!
And you can start with me - PLEASE present me with a magic solution for my fly problem!!!


  1. I wish I had some magic fly killing advice...I just use my swatter. I have to try the Simple green, though. I never would have thought it could be useful as a fly death ray!

    I have to throw in that the only useful thing I have ever heard of flies doing is providing maagots for wound cleaning. I just got done reading a historical novel in which they inserted maggots into a deep cut to remove the dead tissue and infection as they only eat the rotten flesh. Pretty disgusting, huh? I am not even sure if it is true, but it sounded logical. Who knows, with leeches making a comeback in modern medicine, maybe the fly is next?!?!

  2. Sorry I honestly have no advice to give. Just wanted to tell you I found this post quite entertaining. :)
    I also don't own a fly swatter and never remember to buy one at the store.

  3. My Fly Blog.


    I could'nt believe what I saw last night, there was this crazy woman with this green stuff that killed my buddy Fred and his girlfriend. They were on there first date and it was not a happy ending. Yes they both were murdered. I don't know of any good that comes from those humans, (except maybe the crumbs, or food they leave out). Oh well, EVERYFLY BEWARE! Sometimes green stuff kills.

  4. How about a venus flytrap plant?

  5. I hate flies too. In fact, there's one buzzing around my kitchen right now. I must admit I hate ants worse than flies, though. At least flies don't come by the hundreds and BITE.

    I've never heard of using Simple Green as a fly-killer. So, you've actually given ME fly-killing advice. I do own a flyswatter, but not just a grocery-store flyswatter - the Super Swat from Pampered Chef. They don't sell them anymore, but it's awesome - even has a detachable dustpan to sweep up the dead ones and tweezers in the end of the handle to pluck dead flies out of the windowsill.

    I guess flies are good for spider food, but I'm not sure I approve of that purpose either.

    Sorry I'm not more helpful...


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