I Hate Flies

I really do. I don't just hate them.

I detest them.

I despise them.

I abhor them.

I LOATHE them!!!

Did I make that clear?

I don't understand their purpose AT.All. I mean really, they don't have one, do they? They don't eat other insects, they don't help with anything. They really have no purpose.

And they really are not welcome in my house.

So why is it, EVERY TIME my door opens, one or two more just invite themselves in and take up residence?

If anything was going to drive me totally insane, it would probably be flies. And I was almost to that point last night.

About 8 had gotten in yesterday, and I was about to go over the edge! I had had enough. I was out for blood....or at least fly guts! I really need to get a fly swatter, but I only think about it when I see those buggers in my house and want them out. I never remember when I'm actually at the store!

So last night I had had ENOUGH! And I was swatting at them with a dishtowel. I managed to get a couple of them - they were probably the weak ones. But the others continued to elude me.

I finally decided to lure them to me, and await their arrival, equipped with my weapon - Simple Green. (Not only a wonderful cleaning product, but an excellent fly killer!) I turned off all the lights in the house - except for the one over my kitchen sink. I knew the light would attract them, and it was only a matter of time.

Soon, they were flittering around the light. And that's when I attacked - I caught them off guard. I beamed my death ray sprayed my Simple Green at them. Oh, they tried to keep going, but it was just too powerful. They began to crash and burn. And then...annihilation! Good by you nasty flies! And good riddance!

This morning I discovered one lone fly still hanging around. I guess he had somehow managed to avert the battle last night. But he was in a very weak state and was an easy target.

Alright now, as much as I'd love to fill my evenings with covert operations because it's so very exciting, I'd really like to know of an easier way to rid myself of these pests. I'm sure I can find better ways to spend my time - you know, like cleaning house reading blogs and such.

So, my question is - do you have a sure fire way of getting rid of flies? And not fly paper - I can't stand the thought of that sticky stuff hanging in my kitchen with flies stuck to it - YUCK!
So do you have any other solutions? With kids in and out all day, it is unreasonable to think my door will stay closed, so they are bound to get in. But is there and EASY way to get rid of them? Please save me from going nuts by offering some brilliant advice!!

And speaking of advice, be sure to visit Lori for Advice Forum Friday!!! It's a new carnival she's beginning today!
Here's what she says:

How many times have you been stumped, by your child's behavior, or a household task, or the attitude of the guy at the phone company? And you just want to ask some advice. And maybe you posted it on your blog, but only one or two people saw it or offered any advice. I think Advice Forum Friday can help!

So, if you have a question, be sure to post about it and jump on over to her place to sign the Mr. Linky and then sit back and wait for the advice to pour in! (And more details are on her blog.)

And if you are one of those who are overflowing with advice to give, then run on over there and visit the participants and bestow on them your incredible knowledge!!! Come on, you know you want to!
And you can start with me - PLEASE present me with a magic solution for my fly problem!!!